Lady Isobella

Dear Gents & Lovelies,

Lady Isobella - Milton Keynes Escort has been watching the women’s semi finals today - and what fantastic viewing!

The better match by far was Serena Williams’ match against Elena Dementieva - which had me on tenterhooks the entire time! I was rooting for her - as faithful bloggers will remember I love that girl (and so glad she brought her little coat with her again this year! Love how she can play with those big hoop earrings and necklace)! It was women’s tennis at it’s absolute finest. Glad, too, that Venus Williams won her match against Dinara Safina (poor girl appeared to be completely off form). Saturday’s final will be fantastic I am sure!

Faithful bloggers will also remember that I am not an Andy Murray fan. I know there are some who say he appears to have calmed down a bit this year - maybe so - but I still find him completely uncharismatic. I acknowledge he is a fantastic player - but I simply cannot warm to him. I also find it curious how he is being teamed up against relative safe bets in his matches - a sure way to get him to the final me thinks? How was it that the two greats Roddick and Hewitt ended up playing against each other and Murray got the likes of Stan Wawrinka and Juan Carlos Ferrero for his last two matches? He is jolly lucky(the heavenly Raffa) Nadal is not there this year for sure - but I do think there has been additional support his way to get him in to the final stages. Call me a sceptic - but it just smells too fishy. Anyway - Federer to WIN!

The weather has been FABULOUS! OMG I found myself begging for some rain today - but not because I’ve had enough of the heat - but to water the garden - I am sick of doing it! I just do the flowers and pots but that takes me ages with a watering can. I find a hose takes even longer and either way it’s so tediously boring!

Off to bed - nite nite,

Love Lady Isobella

Milton Keynes Escort of the Very Sunny South

xxx

Gents & Lovelies,

I am sure you will all be sharing with me, Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes,  the huge disappointment that the gorgeous Rafa has had to pull out of Wimbledon this year

There will be a huge void and gap and certainly, for me at least, no excitement at all. Yes, I will enjoy the tennis - but there will be nothing to look forward to.

Will simply just not be the same.

Sad me signing off…

xxx

Gents & Lovelies,

Just reading through some of the comments on the Daily Mail site about the hats and outfits yesterday at Ascot…..Well, what do you know so many saying exactly what I did yesterday :-)  Everyone agreeing Erin O’Connor was the best - and Princess Eugenie was terrible. However - most people were even crueler than I was. Have to agree with them - both she and her sister always look like a couple of middle aged women - and that’s probably insulting many middle aged women who look fab for their age!

Anyway - got to dash - will pick up again a bit later…

Love & hugs,

Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes

xxx

Gents & Lovelies,

Guess what? Lady Isobella - Courtesan Extraordinaire Par Excellence of Milton Keynes, Nemesis of all time Wasters, Queen of the Shops, Mistress to her Cats and IT Ignoramus of the Year - has FIXED her PC problem all by her little self!! What a great day it’s been for me! I am back on line and in tune with the rest of the planet. It was terrible being cut off - just for a few days - but what a tragedy! I don’t know what I ever did before the Internet, mobile phones and PC’s etc….one or two days without them is like total isolation - starvation is only second to that!

I was listening to Lord Butler talking in the Lords today about the Iraq War Inquiry hoping to be set alight with his, what appeared to be, eloquent speech. Now I wonder if I was the ONLY one who totally lost the plot (observing those asleep around him - I think not! Mind you, two of those were about a hundred years old! They should have been tucked up at home with their cocoa and blankets!) Why do some people talk in such long sentences. At the end of this fantastically long speech (during which even HE began to falter) those still awake all murmured ‘hear hear hear’ and other garbled equivalents. But you know - I don’t think anyone particularly knew what they were agreeing with. The gist (I believe) was that it should be made public - which it isn’t/wasn’t - and therefore was not in the public’s interest - but the Government’s.

Well that’s no surprise at all, is it? A lot like the infamous MP’s expenses which have been made public online today - if you don’t count the important bits being blacked out. Minsters resigning - yet still claiming to have done no wrong! As if!

I see Fred the Shred has agreed to give up half his pension payout in return to be allowed to return to the UK. Well I want proof that he’s given it back. Who can be sure? Why should I believe he’s handed it back? Who can categorically confirm that he has?  No one, that’s who. All bunkum. Again!

Oh, BIG relief about my small issue re: tanning. I said a few days back that I could not understand why my upper body looked so much darker than my lower half when I spent the same amount of time and lotion on each. Well - as it happens - a lovely and a reliable source in these matters - has informed me that legs will always take longer. So I am not abnormal after all! Still a pain, though - I suppose I will have to cover myself with a sheet the next burst of sun we get to let my legs catch up with the rest of me!

Apparently it’s all getting very hot - up to the high 40’s………but not for another 70-80 years. Whilst welcome to many sun worshippers like me - it will bring many other negatives alongside - or so the experts say. Now what I’d like to know is this: How can these ‘experts’ predict the weather patterns SEVENTY years on - when they cannot even get the next day accurate? I won’t be around - so I won’t be able to prove my theory that no-one actually knows what is going to happen. They can predict and forecast and speculate - but truth is - nobody really knows. A lot of it is all government propaganda and what they want you to think or scare you into thinking. Live a clean, healthy life. Don’t litter, pollute or waste natural resources. Stop wars, feed the poor - and most importantly - be kind to every single animal. In short - that’s a pretty good plan - and I’m not an expert. Maybe I should call myself an ‘expert’ - give THIS job up and get paid loads of money making sensible predictions. Evidently - people believe anything they read - they are all sheep. It’s just one big con most of it. Call me sceptical - but what’s going on with the earth/planet is a natural progression. You can’t stop it - but you can stop waste and pollution - which is pointless and helps no-one.

So petrol is on the up again. We are all going to get in a sweat over that - but who can do anything about it? Well - I can’t - I can’t EVEN avoid that hideous evil woman at the filling station. I was dolled up the other day - had my best skin tight dress on…high heels, war paint - THE LOT. I saw her - gave her my best come to bed eyes and licked my lips as I pouted my lips and blew her a kiss whilst sucking my index finger……….Actually I just made that up. I’d love to do that for a laugh - watch her reaction! I bet she avoids me like the plague from then on Perhaps I should - just to get rid of her and her horrible self.

Just looking at the pics from Ladies Day at Royal Ascot…..mmmmm some sights - but some lovely hats and outfits too. My favourite outfit/look was Erin O’Connor’s - stylish and sophisticated. Worst so far - Princess Eugenie - whose green hat looked like a plate which was set to take off from her head at any moment. Nasty. There was one lady with a giant 99Flake Ice Cream/cone on her head - now that was FAB! Top marks to her :-)  and ight up my street! Then there was a trio of ladies with giant quality street chocs on their heads! YES! Loved Jasmine Guinness’s head attire - but with her money - I’m sure she could afford it. Carol Vorderman looked like Carol Vorderman - but didn’t look too bad I suppose. NO comments about any other of the Royals. One words sums them all up : boring. Nuff said. Yesterday there were pics of Joan Collins. I think she is in really good condition for someone of her age (about three hundred now I think) - always immaculately turned out. But has anyone ever noticed how she has never progressed from the Dynasty look of the 80’s? I know we’ve come full circle again in fashion - but she’s been sporting that look forever! Bit tired now Joan - find a new look…..pleeeeeease! Talk about beating a look to death!

Someone made the observation that Piers Morgan looks not too dissimilar to Susan Boyle! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA - that is so true! It made me laugh

OK - got to go. Enjoy the day, have a good evening and see you soon.

Love and hugs,

Lady Isobella of the Sunny South-ish
xxx

Hello Gents & Lovelies,

Dropping you a quick note to say glad you are all enjoying the blog

It’s been over a year since I had a moan about my PC - but I’m afraid it’s on the blink again - and again I have absolutely no idea why. All I know is that I am exasperated by it all.

It allows me short windows of opportunity to do whatever I need to and then packs up!

Take care,

Love Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes
Nemesis to all Time Wasters!

xxx

Gents & Lovelies,

Hope you all enjoyed a lovely weekend. The sun was wonderful and all too quick because after teasing us this morning and giving us false hope - it’s started to rain - again! Ah well….at least we had a few days. Tomorrow promises to be good and further than that I dare not raise my hopes.

Thank you to Alex, who called me yesterday (Sunday) afternoon to- ask me if I would be free today at 2.30 for an hour and a half. I knew he was a waste of time just by the way he spoke - and if I needed more proof - as soon as we ended the conversation (which was not very long) he sent me a text to ask what services I offered. This, Gents, is a classic give-a-way of a genuine waster. Genuine lovelies will ask what you have to during the conversation - and if you forget anything - always call back. Wasters will text. Time and time again this happens - so I know when to delete a booking from my diary. I am never wrong. But Alex calling from 07525 267970 - you could have potentially cost me business, and for this I want the world to know what an ignorant fart you are. It’s not nice to do things like that to anyone - let alone someone who has done nothing to you in the first place. Incidentally - I did text him back give very brief answer and asked him to call back if he wanted more info. He didn’t call back for more info - neither did he have the courtesy to cancel the booking - so Alex - take a hike down to walk of shame.

I had someone else call me today who said they had found my details on the Internet - and then wanted to know more about me. Come on lovelies - wouldn’t you agree - another waste of time? So I gave him the obvious info - where I am based; working hours and fees. He wanted more information, so I asked him what exactly. Soon as he asked for what I looked like, height, hair colour, age etc - I knew I had another total waster taking up my time. If he’d found my website - he’d know that - and as I always say - my personal details are of no importance and shouldn’t be for the purpose of a booking - NOBODY IS GETTING MARRIED OR MAKING A LIFE LONG COMMITTMENT - SO AGE, HEIGHT, HAIR COLOUR - IF NOT IMMEDIATELY OBVIOUS FROM THE GALLERIES - ARE CLEARLY NOT IMPORTANT.

On to things bugging me….What you mean the above wasn’t bugging me? Of Course it was - but I feel I have to keep telling everyone as people tend to forget!

So, Susan Boyle. The lovely Susan Boyle. I wish the producers of BGT the Tour had thought beforehand how she would be able to cope/take the ‘pressure’  of appearing in public. She’s not been in the limelight two minutes and there is an aura of Diva-ishness about her escalating on a daily basis which are sure to surpass the legendary demands of Mariah Carey and Madonna for sure! OMG - yes she has a talent to sing and yes she is charming and cute and her story was heart warming - BUT enough is enough. If she cannot handle the fame and limelight - keep her locked away to record in secret and wheel her out briefly to prove she is still breathing at Christmas or something - but there are ample other budding hopefuls to help than to concentrate on one reluctant recluse. Now go and sort it out!

That’s it for now. Have a good rest of the day/week….and look forwrd to seeing you soon.

Love from
Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes
The Best Escort you’ll find on any level!

xxx

Gents and Lovelies,

What a beautiful day here in sunny Milton Keynes - the Lady Isobella was soaking it up today!

I don’t get my skin. It’s never tanned evenly all over. I use the same amount of sunscreen and I expose myself equally all over - and yet my top half looks as though it belongs to someone else. It’s always so much darker than the bottom half of me - which pales next to it. It is so annoying.

Anyway - who watched the programme last night on the Two Foot Teen? What an amazing story about SUCH a gorgeous young girl! Her voice, her looks, her clothes, her little desk and just everything about her was so infectious. I have to say she is about the cutest thing I have ever seen and find adorable next to my beloved pets and animals! I think it’s so cute that she dreams of being a Bollywood actress - I think she would make a fabulous one - and having starred in a music video already - I hope she gets her chance soon.

‘Desperate Housewives’ is finished now - what am I going to do? And so is ‘Gok’s Fashion Fix’ A few good new series starting soon on BBC and ITV - so hopefully they will be enough to fill the void. Oh yeah - anyone been watching ‘Mumbai Calling’ ? It’s quite good. It stars Eastenders Nitin Ganatra aka Syed Masood - who is hilarious! It also stars Sanjeev Bhaskar - from the Kumars at No. 42 - remember that one? They are both fab in this. It’s about a call centre in Mumbai - dealing with calls from the UK. Totally ridiculous - but highly watchable.

I see Paris Hilton and Ronaldo are being linked. Can’t see that one happening really -  in spite their obvious similarities (loaded, vacuous and publicity mad). I also see that little pint sized Kylie has been putting in a shift at her boyfriend’s family pub - oh yeah right - do me a favour…..Like she wasn’t there doing it for exactly what it got her - MORE publicity for doing nothing - other than a few dishes. Oh poor woman - she did some dishes…..ah….bless - she deserves another honorary medal, award, degree, life peerage and special mention at the United Nations. Stupid woman - go away!

I also read that it seems men these days prefer the girl next door-size 14 - rounded and plump in favour of the model-bimbo-size 0? Yes I’m sure - I’ll believe that when they stop ogling everything BUT the hairy-heavies and stop buying Lads Mags filled with naked size 0’s and fantasising about all the Pammy Anderson’s the world has to offer. Men are men - will always like that sort and no woman will ever change that - survey or no survey.

Good old Boris Becker has got married for the second time - to a WOW lady! Lucky woman! I think that man is really sexy - not in the conventional sense - but because he is cheeky, witty and a great sportsman. Plus I simply love the way he speaks English! Good luck to him and his new Mrs.

Tennis season upon us and you know what that means? It means I am going to be raving about gorgeous Raffa again!

Well - it’s getting late and Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes is going to bed.

Until next time - have a great weekend and see you soon.

Love and kisses,

Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes
Princess Pushy of the Sunny South-ish
xxx

Gents and Lovelies,

What has the lovely Lady Isobella got to tell you today?

Well - first of all - this has got to be quick - as ‘Two Foot Tall Teen’ (C4) and ‘Krod Mandoon’ (BBC 2) are about to start on TV at 9pm. Have them set to record - but would still be nice to catch one of them live. Krod Mandoon has got Matt Lucas in it - and as you may remember - I am a huge fan of Matt Lucas - and I am sure it’s bound to be fab.

Had to pop out this morning to a well known large superstore - I won’t say which one in case I offend - but let’s just say I am certain now that the people they employ there have been given one last chance in life - before their card’s finally called. OMG - the woman at the till took forever to serve me - and I only had 8 items. It took at least twenty minutes and no less than six staff to help her. It was like a carry on. I feel bad saying that - but having got that off my chest - I feel a good deal better!

Thanks!

I thought it was supposed to be a nice day today. Well - I won’t hold my breath for tomorrow, then! What’s the point - I’m bound to be disappointed again

Heard today that some of the top BBC presenters (Jonathan Ross, Terry Wogan etc) are due to have their massive salaries chopped. Oh how my heart bleeds for them. I cannot believe their extortionate salaries - or for that matter the kind of money that changes hand in football! How can any man be worth 81million? Oh please - do me a favour! What is he on - something like £200K a WEEK! That is just obscene. Nothing can justify that - i don’t care how well he can kick a ball - that is just NOT right. Neither is paying £1m to Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue for their parts on X-Factor. Why?  It’s just ridiculous how that show is not about the contestant-wannabes and their talents - it’s all about the stupid vacuos jusdges; who looks better and who can outwit the other. Are either of those two ladies with limited vocal talents worth their fee? Absolutely NOT.

Anyway - got to go - speak to you soon.  Nite nite.

Love and hugs,

Lady Isobella
The only worth while Escort  in Milton Keynes
(or so I am told all the time anyway)
xxx

Gents and Lovelies,

Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes is missing you! So I am writing another long one!! Hope you’re ready for me and my BIG  mouth!!!

I am feeling such a hypocrite - I honestly am. There was me criticizing Lady Gaga at the BRITS - for being unsightly and ruining the Pet Shop Boys set - when I had barely even heard of her before etc etc…and judged her based on her garrish looks alone (well to me anyway they were garrish). However, someone close to me kept singing her songs and in the end I decided to buy them her CD when I was at Tesco the other day (hoping no one would notice the vile CD in my trolley). Anyway - couldn’t help a sneaky listen before I parted with it and OMG what a fantastic CD it is! I am loving it and you know - it’s mine now! Got to say - I am still not getting her look (but that’s probably down to my age more than anything else) but her sound and lyrics are fabulous! If you like pop and feel good music - she’s for you.

I am also feeling sorry for poor dear little gorgeous Kylie Minogue….WHY? I hear you all asking!?! Why would silly me be sorry for one of the most highly (over-rated and) paid superstars the world has (stupidly) fallen in love with! I’ll tell you why and I actually empathise with her though fortunately - in my case have realised my error and given up - a long time ago. Poor Kylie - in her forties now and desperate for a man. I don’t know her personally but if you read and believe the papers she’s with a man ten years her junior - a never-heard-of Spaniard who looks thoroughly bored with her. If she were a man - she’d be having a mid-life crisis - but as it’s poor-darling-little-Kylie - it’s so sad she’s still single Well not really - she’s just going for the wrong types. She appears to go for good lookers that other women will fancy and covet. These guys know they are great and no women on earth will ever be enough for them - Kylie included. She ought to go for a mature, well heeled man with his own ’serious’ profession who does not need her success or fame. Anyway - Kylie - if you’re reading this - I wish you would go back to Australia - find a good man and STAY there with your ridiculous sister and while you’re at it - take that awful Myleene Klass-less with you!

Have you heard that the NHS has paid for cosmetic surgery for Tracie Andrews (who killed Lee Harvey and claimed that he had been a victim of a road rage attack over ten years ago) - costing a reported £5000 to fix her protruding jaw! That she killed a man and lied about it and now serving life for it - the NHS sees fit to pay OUR money to fix her stupid jaw! Insane, wrong, outrageous - BUT true! She looked awful before and still looks terrible - in spite of her dying her hair dark and having the jaw done. Why on earth would her looks matter when she is in jail and needs to reflect on her terrible crime? I do not understand the way things work in this country. And how does life mean life - when she’s expected to be preparing for release as early as 2011 - only 15 years after Harvey’s murder? Apparently she’s also now going by the name of Tia Carter and has had lesbian relationships whilst inside. It just gets worse doesn’t it….

OMG - will the Daily Mail PLEASE stop writing about Kate Winslet! The way they write everyday about how fantastic she looks - how amazing her figure is blah blah blah - what a fantastic mother, wife and actress she is - it’s so spewey! Oh for goodness sake - she’s not quite 34 years old yet - she OUGHT to look good at that age - with all the help she gets! And let’s face it - she gets a lot of help. Any woman can look good in makeup - when applied properly. Clever couture helps disguise a few lumps and bumps (and let’s face it - she’s hardly toned - she looks to me soft and fleshy) and the wizard of airbrushing is commonplace these days - so why all the fuss? Anyone would think she was 80 with all the adulation and praise! As soon as she is photographed ‘au natural’ - they will say she’s washed out and under the weather - or had a gruelling work schedule….Oh yeah right! Actually - she’s just looking her normal self. Although Carol Vorderman really gets on my nerves (and thank goodness she is off our screens these days) she has come out recently to ridicule the rise of the public’s love affair with the beautiful-stupid celebs. She’s so right. All the papers and mags are full of ultra thin, glam people whose only purpose in life is to try and make others feel inadequate. Women know it’s not possible and men - who should know better - think all women need to look like that - else they are letting themselves go!

Watched the ‘Sex and the City’ film the other night. It was fab! I never got into the series - but I’m hooked now! I never got Sarah Jessica Parker’s look (SJP) and I still think she has a really hard face - but she’s growing on me. I love the clothes and humor.

Some of you have been asking me about that awful woman at the Tesco’s filling station I go to. Well - sadly, she’s still there. She went missing a few weeks - but they found her again. She’s the same - but the worse news is that she’s infected the other women and now they are all at it!

Well - the good old British weather is at it again…dull, miserable and cold. I mean we are only in June so what more can we expect? We had a few nice weeks last month - now that’s our lot.

Before I go - one last story catching my interest - is the one about Jyoti the world’s tiniest girl. Too long to tell you about - but please google her - she’s amazingly cute and will feature in the ‘Bodyshock’ series on 11th June at 9pm C4. I’ll be watching it. Oh - and another one to watch - Maureen Lipman’s ‘Ladies of Letters’ on Sunday 9pm ITV3. I think she’s one of the funniest women alive - and she comes across as genuinely nice, as well. Bit like Julie Walters.

OK - that’s me done - enjoy the day and see you soon.

Love Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes

Unrivalled Escort-Bloggist & Celebrity Loather of the Sunny-South-ish

xxx

PS. OMG - just read a fantastically hilarious story about Myleene Klass-less who apparently glued herself to her bed In Costa Rica - with insect repellent - just backing up what I’ve said all along and proving how stupid she is! Hotel staff had to peel her off! OK - the mind does boggle - how on earth could she get stuck to her bed? It all sounds a bit far-fetched to me….Anyway - more annoying - I wish she’d put her bow- bandy legs away….they are so hideous! They are always on show like they were something to be admired - NOT!

Gents and Lovelies,

Once again - I feel I appear to be the only one who’s noticed something so obvious. That or I am the only one bold enough to come out and say it….

What is Lady Isobella - renowned escort and revered blogger from Milton Keynes talking about? None other than Micheal Jackson’s ‘children’.

He is black (or was before he bleached his skin ghostly white) - and the mother of his kids is white. So how on earth have they managed to produce  children who appear to have not a trace of black in them?  They are mixed race and yet appear totally white? I cannot imagine they are his. Not for a minute and yet on the Daily Mail site today you have dozens upon dozens of entries from people (supposedly sane) who all say how much like their father they are. Oh pleeeeeease! 

Adopted - perhaps - but never biologically his.

Anyway - it’s a short one today - as many of you have commented how long my last one was - so I am sulking now

I’m going to watch some TV if I can stay awake.

Thank you to all my newly found Lovelies - you are all fantastically gorgeous And for those of you still sitting on the fence - getting splinters (as one lovely put it) stop your dithering and take the plunge!

Nite nite,

Love & kisses from……..

Lady Isobella of Milton Keynes
Princess, Escort and Blogger of the Sunny South-ish

xxx

p.s. I shall be updating my Kind Comments page soon - as I have been slack there for ages. I have had some wonderful comments especially of late which I should like to share with you - and for those of you who have not sent me any - why on earth not! I welcome all your feedback - good preferably, but negative if that’s what you feel…..